.... that's what I am.
I just dropped Adam off for his first day of kindergarten. I had hoped that I wouldn't cry, especially in front of my kid who was so excited to go. But when I walked in, there stood a friend who's boy is in Adam's class. She gave me these sad puppy dog eyes and said, "Adam is in kindergarten already?"
...and I lost it.
I had to walk out of the room to compose myself, which I was able to do in a relatively short amount of time. By the time I got back, Adam was already immersed in his new kindergarten activities. I had to drag him reluctantly back to me, to give him a kiss good-bye and remind him that I'll pick him up when school is over.
"See ya, Mom!" and he was off.
It's as it should be.
I drove home and bawled... still am.
A lot of people relish the beginning of the school year. They can't wait to get the kids back to school and back to routine. I can appreciate that.
However, I get lonely when the kids leave. The house becomes too quiet. Yelling at the cat and talking to the dog just don't leave me with a satisfied feeling. I turn on the radio for noise, and even listening to Cook and Archuletta sing don't fulfill me (although they are like a small band aid). Oh, I'll get over it soon enough. I'm sure it's worse today because this summer has been so incredibly busy, with so much to do and not enough time. In about a week I will appreciate the 2 1/2 hours I have to get on top of the housework. I will enjoy having that time to work on getting our adoption folder updated (yes, we're still working on finding a child). I might sign up for some classes at the university here in town or the vocational college in IF.
I'll fill my time with worthwhile activities, but for today, I just miss my kids.