Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh darn... she's awake!!"

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

It's Missing!

**Editor's Note: Before I get into the heart of this post, I have to say thanks to those who gave me their advice (or just said hi) to my request for Disneyland help. I have taken notes and will use this information when I sign up for Ridemax. I would still love any advice that you think of...
(Hi April! Of course it's okay that you come visit here! Please feel free to leave comments!!)

Moving on ------

I hesitate to even post this Adam-ism. Is it appropriate? Hardly. Is it funny? Hilarious. But since I have plans to eventually print off all my blog postings into a memory book for my kids, I kind of feel like I have to include this. This one is a whopper:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning Adam came running to me after a trip to the bathroom. He was in panic mode.

"MOM!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT? MY BUM HAS A HOLE IN IT!!!!"

(In my 40 years of living, I can say that I don't think I have ever had a conversation like this!)

When Adam is totally serious and dramatic like this, it pays to keep a straight face. I can get so much more information from him when I act like I'm taking him seriously. So, I swallow my laugh, take him on my lap and in a concerned voice say, "Oh really?....." (It's really hard not to laugh. Really hard.)

"Why do you think your bum has a hole?"

Adam is feeling the shock and the horror of his realization. You can tell in the way he answers (which I can't convey in written word. Too bad.) "That's where my poop comes out!"

I can't help it!! A little snicker erupts from my closed lips. I have to close my eyes to compose myself. I've resorted to one syllable grunts.

"Mmmmm....... Hmmmm......."

"And do you know what else, Mom?"

Tears are leaking out of my eyes. He's so serious and I'm a ticking bomb..... Hopefully he thinks I'm crying because of his damaged bum. He doesn't fully understand that people can laugh so hard they cry.

"What else, Adam?"

"The crack in my bum is...... missing!!! The hole took it away!!"

(I can hardly type. Remembering this conversation has wracked me with convulsive laughter!)

My poor boy!!

In spite of my amusement, I grow concerned. HOW DID HE FIND THAT HOLE IN HIS BUM?

I had to ask.

He answered me in a tone of voice that made me feel like the dumbest potato in the sack...."A mirror!" ---Like every person in the world should just put his bum up to a mirror and check it out!

The thing about my boy is that he is a sharing kid. He tells stories to anyone who will give him a kind look. His Primary teacher knows more about our house than I do! When I pass her in the hall at church, she snickers and looks away. He prays about our family in Sharing Time. My visiting teacher (who is the primary pianist) calls frequently and says, "I was calling to see how ____ is," because Adam was praying for it.

I can only imagine what his kindergarten teacher thinks. Did he go to school today and announce his deformity? I'll know tomorrow when I volunteer in class. If the teacher and her aid can't look me in the eye, then I'll know.

The secret is out!!

(Of course, when Calvin got home from work, Adam had to tell him his horror story. When he finished, Calvin looked at me, eyebrows raised, curious look on his face. I don't think he believed that Adam was having a serious conversation. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked away. My stomach muscles couldn't handle suppressing that much laughter again.)

5 comments:

Thorny Tree Lady said...

"...MY BUM HAS A HOLE IN IT!!!!"

(In my 40 years of living, I can say that I don't think I have ever had a conversation like this!)

Wait a minute. You live by and converse regularly with your cat's namesake and hold dear my SIL, and you've NEVER? had a conversation like that? I find it hard to belive.

Wees said...

Daughter #2 and I couldn't breathe for a moment while we were laughing so hard! That is the probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard (or read).

thorkgal said...

Kids say the darndest things. Ha ha! Go Adam!

CHRISTINA said...

Adam is .... Adam. He couldn't have been borned to parents better equipped to handle his little idiosyncracies. I know I can tune in to your blog at least once a week and find things I want to get on the phone and tell other people about. Thanks.

Marci and Sarah! said...

hahahahaha. i am so proud to call this kid my cousin.